Joe: Hey, let’s grab a couple of beers.
Roman: Alright, it’s on me.
Joe: Really? Thanks.
Waiter: Welcome to “Paddy’s”, what can I get you?
Roman: Two beers, please. Draft.
——— the waiter returns with two beers and a steak salad ———
Joe: Excuse me, waiter? We didn’t order this salad.
Waiter: Oh, that’s on the house. We’re running a special promotion right now.
Joan: Hey Lisa, check out that guy.
Lisa: Oh damn, what a hunk. That’s literally the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.
Joan: I know, right? He’s a perfect ten!
Lisa: Yeah, he’s super good-looking. But I doubt he’s single.
Joan: You’re probably right. A guy like that must be really popular with the ladies.
Adam: Hey Kelly, are you happy with your appearance?
Kelly: To tell you the truth … not really.
Adam: Why not? You’re a pretty girl.
Kelly: I think I’m getting flabby. And I’ve got love handles.
Adam: Come on! Don’t be so hard on yourself. You look fine.
Kelly: You’re just saying that to be nice. But we both know I’ve put on weight.
Amanda: Are you going jogging again?
Mitch: I can’t help myself. I’m totally nuts about jogging.
Amanda: Don’t you think you’re overdoing it?
Mitch: Overdoing it? Nah! You can never be too fit.
Amanda: Well, working out all the time can be too much of a good thing. It’s not good for your muscles.
Mitch: Don’t worry, Sis. I admit I’m a bit of a fitness freak, but I know when to draw the line.
Amanda: All right, if you say so. But just don’t become an addict or something.
Jose: Alexa, were you absent from work yesterday?
Alexa: Yeah, I was under the weather. I had to call in sick.
Jose: What’s wrong? Did you catch a cold?
Alexa: No. I had a terrible stomachache and was throwing up. Apparently, I got food poisoning.
Jose: Wow, sounds serious. Are you sure you’re ready to come back to work?
Alexa: Yeah, I’ll be fine. Luckily, I had some sick days available.
Alice: What’s wrong? You don’t look too good.
Brendan: I think I’ve caught a cold.
Alice: Sorry to hear that. Are you taking any pills?
Brendan: Yes, my doctor prescribed some medicine.
Alice: I hope you feel better.
Brendan: Thanks. You should be careful too. It’s flu season.
Alice: You’re right. Everyone around me is coming down with the flu.
Jose: I made a big mistake today. I accidentally insulted my girlfriend.
Kyung Hyun: Why don’t you just apologize?
Jose: That’s easier said than done. I tried, but she won’t accept my apology.
Kyung Hyun: Just sit down with her and clear the air. I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding.
Jose: You’re right. But to tell you the truth, I’m scared to face her when she’s angry.
Kyung Hyun: I get that. But you’ll have to face your fears sooner or later.
Stacy: Joe, your fly’s undone.
Joe: Huh? Hey, cut it out. You’re embarrassing me.
Stacy: I think you’ve got something in your teeth too.
Joe: You’re rellay getting on my nerves. You’re such a know-it-all!
Stacy: Be careful, your laces are untied.
Joe: That’s it! You’re really pushing it!
——— Joe turns to leave, but then trips on his laces and falls flat on his face ———
Stacy: See? I told you so!
Josh: Guess waht!
Kendra: What?
Josh: I’m learning to skateboard. It’s been 3 weeks, but I’m already a pro.
Kendra: No you’re not. Stop showing off.
Josh: No, I swear! I’m telling the truth. Look!
——— Josh tries a skateboard trick, but falls down ———
Kendra: Haha, serves you right. That’s what you get for telling people you’re an expert.
Josh: I said I’m “learning”! Stop putting words in my mouth.
Mick: What?! Did you just take my computer?
Vickie: Yeah. So what?
Mick: You can’t just take my things without asking.
Vickie: Why not? Last week, you used my car without telling me.
Mick: Well, two wrongs don’t make a right. You should have asked me first!
Vickie: Whatever. Get over it.
Mick: That’s the last straw. I’m moving out!