Is she housebroken?

Ted: I got you a present for your birthday.

Susie: Oh my god, it’s a puppy! Thank you so much!

Ted: Don’t mention it. What are friends for?

Susie: It’s so cute! Is it a he or a she?

Ted: She. I picked her up from the pound. She’s a stray.

Susie: Is she housebroken?

Ted: Sure! Go ahead and pet her. It’s OK, she doesn’t bite.

That’s my New Year’s resolution

Hannah: Are you going to the gym again?

Will: Yes, I want to lose 10 pounds by the end of this month.

Hannah: Wow, you’re really determined to lose weight.

Will: Well, that’s my New Year’s resolution. How about you?

Hannah: I’m not really the kind of person to make a resolution. But I’m trying to save money this year.

Will: Hopefully we can both reach our goals.

Put yourself in her shoes

Teacher: I’m sorry to say that Sarah is not doing well in class. These days, she’s got her head in the clouds.

Dad: Ms. Turner, please keep this between us. But Sarah’s grandmother just passed away.

Teacher: I’m sorry to hear that. My condolences.

Dad: That’s why she’s been under a lot of stress recently.

Teacher: I see. I’ll take her situation into consideration.

Dad: Yes, please try to put yourself in her shoes.

A couch potato

Mom: Chris, are you still in bed? It’s almost noon.

Chris: Who cares? It’s the weekend. I can sleep in.

Mom: You always lie around the house like a couch potato.

Chris: Come on, mom. Don’t give me a hard time.

Mom: Alright, you asked for it. I’m cutting off your allowance!

Chris: But, Mom … that’s unfair!

Mom: It servers you right. Maybe it will teach you to not be so lazy.

A short fuse

Carol: What’s wrong?

Paul: I just made a huge mistake. I accidentally told my boss to shut up!

Carol: What?! Why did you do that?

Paul: I lost my temper. You know I’ve got a short fuse.

Carol: Yes, you’re infamous for that. You have to learn to control your temper.

Paul: I know, but when I see red, I can’t help myself.

Carol: Hey, don’t blow your cool. It might cost you your job.

That’s just superstition

Anne: Be careful!

Ellis: What’s wrong?

Anne: Didn’t you see that black cat in front of us? That’s bad luck.

Ellis: Hey, come on. That’s just superstition.

Anne: No, it’s true. We should cross the street, just in case.

Ellis: Do you really believe all those old wives’ tales?

Anne: Well, it can’t hurt. Better safe than sorry.

Chip on your shoulder

Interviewer: Congratulations on the win. You were the top scorer tonight.

Player: Thanks. I’ve worked very hard for this.

Interviewer: What drives you to play so well?

Player: When I was young, everyone told me I was too short to play basketball. So now, I work extra hard to prove them wrong.

Interviewer: That’s a very inspiring story.

Player: Yeah, I guess I have a chip on my shoulder.

Face the music

Mr. Henson: Everyone, out latest movie was a bust.

Ms. Clarke: You’re right. I think it’s time we cut our losses and pull the movie from theaters.

Mr. Henson: How could this happen?

Ms. Clarke: We need to face the music and admit the director has just lost his touch.

Mr. Henson: You may be right. He’s a nice person, but the bottom line is that he’s just not popular with audiences anymore.

In the red

Alice: Dan, we’ve got problems.

Dan: What is it?

Alice: This is the third month in a row that we’re in the red. We’ve got to face the facts.

Dan: I know. I’m worried too. There are too many empty seats these days.

Alice: If this continues, I’m afraid we might go bankrupt.

Dan: Don’t worry. We’re just going through a rough patch.

Think outside the box

Ms. Roberts: We need to find a way to sell more PCs.

Mr. Gardner: I know. But the market is slow these days. There’s not much we can do.

Ms. Roberts: I don’t buy that. We just have to come up with some original ideas.

Mr. Gardner: You’re right. We need to think outside the box.

Ms. Roberts: I think we should try to improve our marketing strategy.

Mr. Gardner: You’re right. It’s not too late. We can still turn this company around.